QUAD

Ugh!

RENT-An-Idol

You had to know I was gonna do an Idol blog today.  I'm sorry, but I must.  I know, I know ... every other two-bit blogger is yammering on about Sanjaya (yes, the boy is pretty, but he really, really can't sing!) But this will be different, I swear.  Because I've figured out a way to keep everyone (yes, even Sanjaya) on the show.  You heard me - no one has to get voted out.  How, you ask?

All they have to do is turn this year's Idol cast into the cast of RENT.  For real - I'm not kidding.  Here's the roster:

Jordin plays Mimi (the exotic dancer)
Blake plays Roger (the angsty and overwrought punk-rocker)
Chris R plays Mark (who can't hold an erection on the High Holy Days)
Gina plays Maureen (the newly-lesbianized ex-girlfriend of Mark)
Lakisha plays Joanne (Maureen's new flame)
Sanjaya plays the drag-queen, Angel (don't even pretend you're surprised by that!)
Chris S plays Angel's lover, Collins (with Randy Jackson as the understudy)
and Phil plays Benny (the former roommate-slash-sell-out).

Everyone wins! 

Yes, I did watch last night.  No, I was not impressed.  The good kids sucked and the bad kids did good, and if I have to watch Haley what'shername sing one more slurpy song, I may commit crimes against humanity!  I almost hate her more than I hate Sanjaya, because at least he admitted last night that he couldn't sing!

I'm not even going to mention all that crying...

Things I Haven't Told You

Wedged between a heinously busy February and what's promising to be a ridiculously busy March, I had the most amazing experience that I haven't talked about yet.  I went to a nifty writers' conference in Monterey, CA where I got to meet my editor for the first time.  Does that sound like a big deal?  Because it is.  A big deal.  Really.  We're bi-coastal, you know.  I'm out west and she's back east, and we both have these, um, lives, right?  So we hardly ever get to do stuff like hang out.  And we didn't get much hang-out time in Monterey, but it was a lot of fun to meet the otherwise disembodied voice from the other end of the phone!

Meeting the person who is almost-single-handedly responsible for the existence of your book can be a very intimidating experience, and I was -likewise- very intimidated.  It's like ... ever hear of eHarmony?  It's an online dating website.  You meet someone online, decide if they're right for you by reading their profile, swap emails for a while, talk on the phone a few times, and then, if you're both still feeling each other, you meet (I know it sounds like I've done this before but I haven't. I just know people who have.  Seriously - I've been married almost 11 years!).  Anyway, getting a book published is actually a lot like that.  And the thing about meeting someone you've only ever talked to by email or phone is, it can be a little ... awkward.   My biggest fear?  Being inarticulate.  I mean, I'm a writer, for God's sake!  But sometimes, I can be pretty reserved, and when I get like that, I start to feel lame, and lame = inarticulate, at least for me.

My editor, the lovely Kristen Pettit, did not feel awkward.  She's met many of her authors before.  I, on the other hand, have never met my editor before.  I've never had an editor before.  But just for the record, she puts her boots on (granted, they are fabulous boots) one foot at a time, just like the rest of us.  In fact, she's all the way down to earth, warm and personable, and ever amusing.  But that almost made it worse for me, because I then became intimidated by how normal she was.  Oh my Gawd.  She's so normal!  I felt like I couldn't string three words together to hang a coherent thought on.  And yet, somehow, we had a lovely, albeit short, time together - monosyllables and all!

Big Day

Today is a big day.  Why, you ask?  Because two months from today, May 10th 2007, is the release date for my debut novel, QUAD.  You know what's gonna happen, don't you?  The next two months are going to pass by a million times slower than the past seventeen months since I first sold the book.  How weird is that?  Why does that happen??  And don't say 'physics' because that's no answer! 

But have you ever had that experience?  Having to wait for something really huge?  And then when it comes, it's like all that waiting never even happened.  Because at the same time we're wishing for time to go by fast so we can get to the BIG EVENT, it keeps passing with the same speed when the BIG EVENT comes, and if we're not careful, the BIG EVENT will blast right by us and we might not even get to enjoy it. 

The thing to keep in mind is that what lies between YOU and the BIG EVENT is your LIFE.  And that passes by plenty fast enough. 

So ... what if I treated every day of my life like it was the BIG EVENT? 
Would I live any differently then ... ?

FREE HUGS

This may take every ounce of restraint I possess, but today I'm not going to blog about the disgusting, despicable fiasco known as American Idol.  No.  In fact, I'm going to balance out my AI rant from the other day by providing a warm and fuzzy public service.  Today, I'm going to hand out Free Hugs. 

You're welcome. 

Things That Do Not Surprise Me

On Idol tonight, the theme is "What might surprise you about me."  In that spirit, here are some surprising thoughts of my own.

Things that I'm surprised by tonight:

• Idol was only an hour long (I mean, thank God, but did I miss a memo?)
• Paula Abdul was unusually negative this week
• I'm blogging profusely about American Idol
• apparently I need to get a life

Things that I am NOT surprised by tonight:

• viewer discretion is advised on House - again
• Sanjaya knows how to hula dance
• the only thing larger-than-life on Idol tonight was how huge the boys tanked
• Scooter Libby was found guilty

Oops - apparently I do watch something besides Reality TV.  Do you know why nothing will ever come of this heinous deed, this act of near-treason?  Because if the two people who are truly responsible for it are held accountable, it would mean a woman would be taking over the White House, and they'll stop at nothing to keep that from happening.  Wanna know why I blog about RTV?  Because when I don't, I end up getting political.  Oh well.